Helping a Loved One or Family Member with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

When someone you care about suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), it affects you too. The symptoms of PTSD aren’t easy to live with, and the changes in your loved one can be downright terrifying. You worry that things won’t ever go back to the way they were before. At the same time, you may feel angry about what’s happening to your family, and hurt by your loved one’s distance and moodiness. It’s a stressful situation all around—one that can leave you feeling overwhelmed, even as you try your best to stay strong. The most important thing to know is that you aren’t helpless. Your support can make a huge difference in your partner, friend, or family member’s recovery. But as you do your best to care for someone with PTSD, you also need to take care of yourself.

 

It’s common for people with PTSD to withdraw from their friends and family. While it’s important to respect your loved one’s boundaries, too much isolation is unhealthy. Your comfort and support can help a person with PTSD overcome feelings of helplessness, grief, and despair. In fact, trauma experts claim that receiving love from others is the most important factor in PTSD recovery.
Knowing how to best demonstrate your love and support, however, isn’t always easy. You can’t be your family member’s therapist, and you can’t force him or her to get better. But you can play a major role in the healing process by spending time together and listening carefully.

Trauma alters the way a person sees the world, making it seem like a perpetually dangerous and frightening place. It also damages people’s ability to trust others and themselves.  Anything you can do to rebuild your loved one’s sense of security will contribute to recovery. This means cultivating a safe environment, acting in a dependable and reassuring way, and stepping in to help when needed. But it also means finding ways to empower the person. Smothering someone with PTSD or doing things for them that they’re capable of doing for themselves is counterproductive. Better to build their confidence and self-trust by giving them more choices and control.
 

PTSD & the family: The importance of self-care

If a loved one has PTSD, it’s essential that you take care of yourself and get extra support. Looking after your own well-being isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.  In addition to putting a lot of time and energy into your family member’s problems, you’re probably taking on a bigger share of the household responsibilities as well. That’s a big caregiver burden that can lead to emotional strain and physical exhaustion if you don’t take steps to recharge and find balance.
Letting your family member’s PTSD dominate your life while ignoring your own needs is a surefire recipe for burnout. In order to have the strength to be there for your loved one over the long haul, you have to nurture and care for yourself. Like proper maintenance on a car, it’s what will keep you going.

 

Tips for taking care of yourself

Self-care begins with taking care of your physical needs: getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, eating properly, and looking after any medical issues. From there, it extends to your mental, social, and emotional needs.

• Cultivate your own support system. This can include other family members you know you can rely on, trusted friends, your own therapist or support group, or your faith community.
• Make time for your own life. Don’t give up friends, hobbies, or activities that make you happy. It’s important to have things in your life that you look forward to.
• Spread the responsibility. You can’t do it all. Ask other family members and friends for assistance so you can take a break. You may also want to seek out respite services in your community.
• Set boundaries. Be realistic about what you’re capable of giving. Know your limits, communicate them to your family member and others involved, and stick to them.
• Talk to someone about your feelings. It can be a therapist, a friend, or your religious leader. Expressing what you’re going through can be very cathartic, making it easier to get through tough times.

Another reason why self-care is so important is because of the potential for secondary traumatization. What that means is that the spouses, partners, and family members of people with PTSD can develop their own symptoms. This can happen from listening to trauma stories or being exposed to scary symptoms like flashbacks. The more depleted and overwhelmed you feel, the greater the risk that you yourself may become traumatized.

http://helpguide.org/